Joel's Journal

8:24pm: People have been telling me my last post was really depressing so I might as well update.

I grew my goatee back because I looked really dumb without it. Plus I like looking 21.

I tried out for Pacific Crest and got called back. I'm on standby but if I don't think the euph line is quite filled yet so maybe if I show improvement at the next rehearsal, I'll get a spot. I forgot to mention that the next rehearsal is on my birthday, January 29th haha. 12 hours on Saturday and 12 hours on Sunday. What a party! Oh well, I want it so I don't mind.

I've learned that things enevitably change and there's nothing I can do about it. It's strange to sit in band and not conduct but I kinda like it. It is nice to get in front of the group every once in a while to warm them up. I swear, they quiet down for me better than they do for Castillo. It's refreshing to know that they don't all hate me. Or maybe they do haha. Either way, I like band. I love the people and the music. It's great.

So that's my new post. Hopefully people won't think I'm depressed all the time. That was just a weird time for me. Anyway, I'm out!

12:32am: I know you don't care about my life, don't worry. I just need to get this stuff out. Read if you want, I don't care either way.

I don't understand. I've changed in 2 days. I shaved off my goatee and I just cut the nails on my right hand for the first time in 6 months.

I'm not drum major anymore. I'm not a jazz or classical guitarist anymore. Every time I listen to the recordings of the sextet, I feel...I don't even know. We're not a band anymore. Two members are away and the other four aren't all that close to each other as friends. I don't know what happened but it did. When Ryan and Tony moved away to college, we couldn't keep going. We couldn't replace them.

I have no outlet anymore. Marching band is over. The combo is over. I'm...alone. I'm writing all these college essays talking about the combo and how great it was to be in it. Now I realize that we're never going to be the same combo we were, even if Ryan and Tony were here. We're all different now. I'm going to go insane without it. At least, that's what I feel like. After all, I don't know where I am going to college for sure. I hate not knowing whether or not I am accepted. I hate writing essays and filling out applications, trying to write what I hope they want to read. I want to meet the dean of admissions and talk to him or her. That way, he or she can ask me all the questions. If I'm not right for the school, at least they could tell me right then and there.

I don't know. It all just kind of came to a head. I realized that I only had the goatee when I was drum major. Shaving it off made it even more apparent that it was all over. I had longer nails on my right hand to play guitar with. Cutting them off was the end of it.

11:56pm: College Apps
College Apps are bringing me down. I feel like I'm not going to get in anywhere even though I have pretty good grades. Knowing that nobody really cares about me, I don't want to bitch much. I don't really want to put forth the effort to anyway. So here's my dream college essay:

Prompt: Why the hell should we give a damn about you?

That is a very good question. In all seriousness, I guess you shouldn't give a damn about me. My grades aren't stellar. I haven't volunteered much outside of band. But you know what? I don't care. I will proceed to promote myself as the god I am.

I believe your institution isn't qualified to continue my education. With my massive intellect, there is no possible way that your professors could keep up with me. One question from me would make them melt in fear. Nobody can answer my brilliant questions. They are the source of scientific studies about the universe. When I ask a question, the world listens but nobody answers.

I could contribute more to your campus than any human being that has ever lived. I sometimes wish that I could meet Jimi Hendrix so I could give him a guitar lesson. Dostoevsky isn't the greatest Russian author, I am! The world simply has yet to realize the truth. Crowds gather around me to learn my secrets of greatness. But I push them away because I know they could never understand.

I feel lonely sometimes because I know that nobody could ever be good intellectual company. But then I realize that I don't need anybody, because I have myself. Sometimes I hang out with the valedictorian just so I can feel better about how smart I am. My grades aren't as good as his, but I know that I am better.

I can beat anybody at any sport. I can speak all the languages of the world. Yo-yo Ma is a pretty good celloist, but I'm better. I don't know what there is left to learn when I know everything already. Maybe I just want to help bring others to my level of understanding by attending classes with them. My teacher asked me to teach her class since I thought I was so smart. So I did and they all aced her test.

I'm better than everybody. If you want your campus to be better, then accept me. I guarantee you'll become the number one university automatically. Every other college will envy you. I am the best.


I think I might send this one to Harvard, just to see what happens hahaha.

8:39pm: I know I haven't written for a while. I haven't really had too much to write about. I dunno, I have. I just haven't had to vent anything.

So anyway, my IB essay is almost done. Well, the complete BS first draft is almost done haha. I'll rewrite it during the year; it really is crap. I don't care at this point.

Band camp has been amazing. We have the first two songs finished drill-wise. We still have some memorization to do with Tommy. I couldn't be more thankful for our instructors. We have music instructors for both woodwinds and brass now, and all of them are qualified to help with drill. Mr. Mike is an awesome marching instructor. I'm glad we have a professional teaching us to march. I know I couldn't do as good of a job as he does. He's a hardass but that's what this band needs.

Race...color wars is going nicely. We changed the colors to Black, Red, and White so that people wouldn't be disappointed if they didn't get the color they wanted from last year. We only spent about 30 minutes each day on color wars, which I think is a great improvement over last year. Instead of wasting an hour on games, we got that much more work done.

The two 12-hour days were pretty intense, but I think they were a good idea. The last half of practice on the field was actually pretty nice. The temperature was warmer but still cool, so it was comfortable.

I'm sad that band camp is over. This is my last year here. It's strange to think of it that way sometimes. Oh well, I'm glad we're going to have a great year. My senior year will go out with a bang. More importantly, we've set a great foundation for next year. I feel good for this year's juniors. You guys will have an even better senior year. I just can't wait to perform tomorrow and at our first football game. It's going to be awesome. I'm wearing the regular drum major outfit. I'm breaking the streak of dumb costumes. I think this uniform is much more dignified. Sure I'll be wearing an afro, but that'll only be at home games haha. Competitions will be just the helmet. Salutes this year will be simple and tasteful. No more interpretive dance salutes.

This year is all about entertaining the audience. I don't really care about winning competitions...but while we're there, we might as well entertain better than all the other bands haha. I want this year to be great for everybody. My belief is that it's the drum major's job to help everyone in band accomplish a common goal of excellence. This year is not about me, it's about the band and the audience. It's my job to make sure that both have a good time. As long as they are having fun, so will I.

My last year at Troy begins tomorrow. I've got to make it memorable. Haha, I don the Fro tomorrow and prepare for battle.

11:58pm: Happy Mother's Day
My uncle died today at 2:30 AM. He's been an alcoholic and a drug addict for a large part of his life. He was about 45 years old. I saw him on his deathbed in the hospital. I barely recognized him. His pupils were dialated. There were tubes breathing for him. When I got near him, he shook his head involuntarily from the machines. I said "Hi," there was not much else I could think to say. I was scared; the face in front of me did not look human. I did not know what to feel. I wanted to leave, so I walked out of the room.

It started when he called my grandmother and asked her to take him to the hospital. He had been vomiting blood. She took him to the hospital, where became too weak to get out of the car and had to be taken to the ICU on a gurney. His blood pressure was just above 50. His kidneys had failed and toxins were building up in his body. For dialysis to work, his blood pressure had to be raised to an acceptable level. With all the medication they gave him, it peaked at 80. Without functioning kidneys, the toxins could not be removed and his blood pressure would not go up.

The doctor consulted us and explained the situation, saying that a meaningful recovery at that point would have been extremely unlikely. Had he survived, he would have had brain damage. My sister sat next to me, nodding her head compulsively at all of the doctor's words, regardless of whether she was looking at him or not. My grandmother had a look of incredulity as she said, "I know him, he will come through." My father stood across from her, annoyed by her unrealistic hopefullness.

We all were. She blamed the doctors for his condition. To her, it was never her baby boy's fault when anything happened. She enabled his habits and his lifestyle. We were all tired of listening to her blame everybody else and not look at reality.

It's not her fault that he ended up this way. Not completely. That entire family does not show love. We've all known that he has had a problem for years. He started drinking at 13. But everybody treated his problem as if it were a burden upon his or herself. They all nagged him individually about this and that, but they never got together and had an intervention. Of course, this situation cannot be blamed upon the family. It was my uncle that made these decisions. He never wanted to quit. He could have checked himself into rehab if he had the will to. I guess he felt he had nothing to live for except drugs and alcohol.

We received a call a few hours after returning home, saying that he had gone into cardiac arrest. My father and mother went to the hospital. My sister and I stayed home.

I had a strange and frightening dream last night. I do not remember it completely. All I remember is somebody vomiting blood and dying in front of me while we were in a dark, enclosed space. I do not remember anything else.

After I woke up, I learned that he had died. I just stared blankly at my mother. It was the same reaction I had when she told me her father died and again when she told me my father's father had died. It all seems unreal to me. But this one was more real, I had seen him and I knew it was going to happen. Maybe it is because I did not feel sympathy because he had done this all to himself.

My aunt called the hospital from the airport in Texas and found out that her brother had died. She was on her way to California because she wanted to say good bye. She yelled at my father for not telling her. She has cancer and he felt that it would be better for her to sleep before her plane ride than to be woken up at 4:30 in the morning to hear the news. She decided to stay in Texas because my father had not called her.

My mother and sister spent Mother's Day shopping for clothes to bury him in. I spent to day watching television and doing homework. I did more of the former than the latter.

My dad came home and asked me a question: "Is that the right program, Steve?"
I responded: "Joel. My name is Joel."
"What did I call you?"
"Steve."
"Oh fuck."
At this point he went into his bedroom and I followed after him. I embraced him and he broke down in my arms.

The last time I saw my father cry out of sadness was when his father died. At that time I could not stop myself from being overwhelmed by tears. This time, I almost felt like crying but I supressed it. I do not know why. Maybe I feel like not crying in front of my dad will somehow make him think I am stronger. Maybe I just do not feel sad enough.

I feel very confused right now. I almost feel like crying, but I do not know what I would cry about. Every time I remember the incident with my father, I feel like crying. Everytime I remember my uncle lying there, unable to even breathe on his own, I feel...nothing.

I feel empty.

10:13pm: Somebody fucking stole my backpack.

I swear to God, they had better give it back to me with ALL of my shit in it or I will hunt them down like the mother fucking dogs they are and beat the shit out of them.

If you took my backpack as a joke and are reading this, give it to somebody I know or drop it in the bandroom. I'd suggest you do it secretly. I'm not in a mood to be fucked with and I don't care if it was supposed to be a joke. I will yell at you for being an asshole. So do yourself a favor and just get it back soon.

12:29am: HA! Wittry got served! His compsci site doesn't even show up on google anymore because of his little extra credit deal. I guess when 30 sites with multiple links to his page show up in the same day, google realizes that he's trying to skew the search results.

So he was talking to us about computer ethics, because that's a topic that's supposed to be taught in AP Compsci. He said that what he did was wrong and blah blah blah, told everyone to destroy the sites linking to his.

Does anyone else find it ironic that he was talking about computer ethics to a room full of pirates? A combined lawsuit against all the compsci students for music and software pirating would probably exceed $1 billion. That is, if they were to sue for the maximum amount per song. They always settle out of court, though.

12:34am: The Glass Prison - Dream Theater

III. Revalation

Way off in the distance
I saw a door I tried to open
I tried forcing with all of my will, but still
The door wouldn't open
The Glass Prison - Dream Theater

Unable to trust in my faith
I turned and walked away
I looked around, felt a chill in the air
took my will and turned it over

The glass prison which once held me is gone
A long lost fortress
Armed only with liberty
And the key of my willingness

Fell down on my knees and prayed
"Thy will be done"
I turned around, saw a light shining through
The door was wide open

10:51pm: Turns out that we got nominated for another OC Music Award! So we're nominated for Best High School Band as well as Best Instrumental Music Group. Of course, we're gonna get brutally sodomized in the Best Instrumental category haha. That is where the professionals dwell. It's gonna be so awesome, we won't even come close to winning haha.

Our next gig is at the Coach House in San Juan Capistrano on Sunday, March 14th. We're gonna be opening for a jazz singer named Karrin Allyson. Talk to me or any other member of the Jackson Sextet about tickets. Hope to see you there!

10:42pm: Turned in my schedule for next year today. Here's my hell:
AP English IV
AP Econ/Gov
AP Spanish IV
AP Biology
AP Calc AB
IB Philosophy/Theory of Knowledge
PE Band

Next year is gonna suck so much ass...

8:06pm: OC Music Awards
There were 12 bands total at the battle. Out of these 12, 5 were to be nominees for best high school band in OC. There were about 30 judges from places like Live Magazine and Warner Records. Out of all the punk, heavy metal, and emo bands, we were the only jazz band. We went up and played our set, during which the crowd was pretty much silent. I guess they were actually listening to us. I stayed for the rest of the night, trying to keep my hearing. It seems that skill increases with volume...who knew? We were probably the quietest band and all the judges seemed to dig it. There were a few bands toward the end that were genuinely good, but the crowd was just dead at that point, so it kinda sucked for them.

The band before us had a "singer" who basically screamed the whole time. People who came to see them were apparently yelling "you suck" at us. Hmm...and yet, I was the only guitarist with the balls to play without distortion to cover my ass. With a lot of distortion, almost anything sounds good.

Anyway, after our performance, we got a bunch of business cards from production companies and recording studios. Plus, the Galaxy Theatre wants us to play there again...on our own hehe.

Salute to Darkness finished the night off with a great set. As expected, they got the biggest crowd reaction of any band that night, and I was right up front in the pit. They had to have been the most entertaining band of the night.

So now that I've made to sit through a nice story about the night, I'll tell you what finally happened. We got nominated for best high school band...1 of 5. Needless to say, we're all pretty stoked. Salute to Darkness was also nominated. The actual awards ceremony is on March 17th at the Galaxy Theatre. The winning band is going to play one song at the end of the night.

We have a bunch of gigs coming up, ask me for info.

3:07am: Sleep count: 8 hours in 4 days

12:49am: Haha, trance songs with female vocals always seem to get to me. Maybe its because nearly all of them are about love hehe.

Anyway, Saturday was truly a sad day in my life. A man came to my house and took my baby away. We sold the Chevelle. Just that day I had been thinking about how much I didn't want to sell the car. Irony's a bitch, ain't it? Well I am now in the market for a new car...hopefully some sort of mustang [67, 72) || [01, 05]. Until then, I am at a loss for a vehicle, which sucks major ass.

It's getting late, so I'm gonna go to bed. Latre.

1:21am: Winter Formal was really fun. T'was good times with good people. Haha, I am further convinced that D'amelia is the only admin that dislikes rave lights. Alec, Jay, and I were trading off with them for about 10 minutes and nobody took them away. Admin even walked by and kept going.

The jazz band was cool. We ended up listening to them for so long that there was only an hour left of the dance by the time we went to go dance.

I still wish I could find somebody that gets into dancing as much as I do. Strange as it may seem, I actually like dancing. Maybe i'm just weird like that, but I felt like i was dancing by myself most of the time. I still had fun though, hehe.

It turns out that it was just as friends I guess. Oh well, I think it's better this way for me and Ryan, anyway. It would've been nice, but there are others...many others.

On Sunday, I went to Olivia's birthday party. I was late cuz I was scurrying all around town trying to find the gift I wanted to get her, but ended up not finding it. The party was great, she had a bounce house! Standard birthday party, we played basketball, ate, played videogames.

One thing I noticed, and seem to notice every time I go to a party, is that I want to date somebody. I miss it. I guess just being around so many girls just makes me realize that I want to date again. It's not like it's so easy to start. I don't really like anybody enough to want to go out on a date. Or if I do, I don't know her well enough to ask her out. I wish I knew if anybody liked me. It'd make it easier to actually start something. But then again, I guess that takes some of the excitement out of it. Meeting girls who aren't in band is a hard thing to do for me. I don't hang out with girls outside of band. It sucks for this exact reason. The only way to talk to girls in class really is to have a class where you can freely socialize at times. That's how I met Nabila. ICT was mostly lab time, so I got to know her. Even though it didn't spawn anything, I met Wendy in compsci (yet another class with lab time). The same goes for the science classes. The problem comes when you like girls in other classes, then it's more difficult to talk to them. English has nearly no socialization time; same thing for math. I need to be more daring. I've retreated into a shell again when I'm around new people. It's easier during freshman and sophomore year, when things are new. In junior year, you become set in your ways. I need to break the hell out of this. I sometimes feel like I'm just being a jerk most of the time, which I probably am. I've got to change.

This window has been open for a few hours now. I can't help but think that sometimes, this is my only outlet when people aren't online. Even though I don't update often, I sometimes remember the times that no matter what happened, I could write here. I remember the long lonely nights with huge projects due the next day, tests of all kinds, breakups, getting back together, breaking up again. All throughout, this has been an outlet for me. I sometimes take it for granted, but I guess this journal is something that doesn't mind when you only visit once in a while.

I know somebody will read this, so I know it's not for nothing. I guess this is a way for me to talk to my friends. Thank you for listening.

12:14am: To Kathy
I dedicate this post to Kathy:

public static void main(String args[]) {
BinarySearchTree madre = new BinarySearchTree();

madre.insert(new Integer(54));
madre.insert(new Integer(32));
madre.insert(new Integer(21));
madre.insert(new Integer(3));
madre.insert(new Integer(17));
madre.insert(new Integer(29));
madre.insert(new Integer(44));
madre.insert(new Integer(40));
madre.insert(new Integer(88));
madre.insert(new Integer(77));
madre.insert(new Integer(66));
madre.insert(new Integer(82));
madre.insert(new Integer(99));


//System.out.println(madre.isDescendant((Comparable)(find((Comparable)(new Integer(54)))), (Comparable)(find((Comparable)(new Integer(77))))));

//System.out.println(madre.preOrder());
//System.out.println(madre.postOrder());
//madre.print();

//madre.delete(new Integer(3));

//madre.print();

System.out.println(madre.toString());

madre.clear();


}

10:43pm: Last Day of Auditions
Today was the last audition day, and I didn't make it. I'm a little disappointed, but I didn't really expect to make it. I've only been playing the horn for about a month, so I'm not that good on it. In addition, marching with it is a bitch. Its really heavy; I can't even hold it up for any length of time. My endurance is crap. I had trouble with the marching style, because I'm not used to it. Well, I'm glad I at least tried out. I learned a lot. I can't wait until next year. I am determined to make it. I need to build up my shoulder muscles and my overall endurance. The way I see it, I have a year to improve. I'm going to work my ass off. This has been a great experience that I will take a lot from.

The only thing that sucks is that I now have to stay up all night writing this pastiche. I haven't had any time this weekend to do it. I was going to turn it in Tuesday and miss Monday, but I was told that it has to be there tomorrow even if I'm not So i'm gonna miss most of the day to finish the other hw I need to do. Ugh, it just makes it worse that I spent all that time, foregoing hw, and I didn't make the corps. I'll take a lot out of the experience, but it kinda sucks. I'm really tired from all the stuff we had to do, and now I can't sleep because of hw.

Ryan and I have promised each other that we will make this corps together. I know it can happen. We just need to keep trying and never give up. I need to get back...latre!

7:02pm: First Day of Auditions
Good lord that was a long day. We didn't run a mile, which is good because I would have actually died the rest of the day. I found out just how heavy a euphonium is: extremely. My should muscles are really tight and sore. An 8 lb euphonium doesn't sound all that heavy at first. But then you march with it held in front of your chest. It felt like 50 lbs. Anybody who says I'm a wuss because I can't hold 8 lbs can try to hold that euph for 5 minutes straight. Anyway, marching was brutal. I'm not used to marching with a brass instrument, let alone a euph, so I was having trouble keeping the correct horn angle.

This is how you know you've been marching for too long: I took my shoes off and my right sock had a huge bloodstain. Man it was a long day. The horn arc sounded great. I really hope I make it so that I can experience being in such a great group. Well, I am so damn tired. I'm gonna go...latre

9:17pm: Auditions Tomorrow
Pacific Crest auditions start tomorrow, and I'm nervous. It's a really weird feeling. I can't remember the last time I felt so nervous. I usually don't get nervous about things, even if they're pretty big. But this is something that I want really badly and I guess that doesn't help. I don't have a very good chance of making the corps because I have only been playing baritone for about a month. It just makes it that much harder for me to make it.

I guess that's why I feel so nervous. I am going into a highly competitive situation without being as prepared as I would like to be. I think I may have a chance to make it based upon marching. Although PC's style is weird, I have pretty good rhythmic control while marching. They even said that they don't expect anyone except the veteran members to march with perfect style. So that means phasing and subdividing my steps will be that much more important.

I really need to calm down. I had to stop practicing my marching because I was shaking and couldn't do it right. If I get this freaked out at auditions then I'm screwed. I hope I do well...I think I have a pretty good attitude. I don't have an ego about my playing or marching...cuz there's nothing to have an ego about. I'm competing against returning members plus everyone else for 20 spots. If I don't make it this year, I will try again next year. I'll keep trying until I make it. I really want this.

Well, back to practicing...wish me luck...

12:30am: Time to update. Well, I've been to two Pacific Crest Drum Corps workshops so far. I really really really want to make it onto the corps. I think it would be such a great experience to actually march in a group that is completely dedicated. Plus, if I make it, I'll be going to Indianapolis, Denver, and other places. I'd actually miss part of band camp because of it. DCI finals are in Denver, at Mile-High Field. That'd be weird to march...the air is so thin there. Plus, being in a drum corps would really get me in shape haha. Marching Band is nothing compared to drum corps in terms of conditioning. I've already been through some of their conditioning exercises, and they're pretty hard.

I think that one of the best things about it would be that I could bring some of the experience back to band with me. Conditioning exercises, inspirational speeches, brass techniques, it'd all be good for us.

The biggest thing for me is that I would actually be on the field, marching in a DCI competition. It's hard to imagine what that would be like. The crowd is so huge at those comps! To march in the same competition as the Cavaliers, Blue Devils, Cadets, Scouts, and many other famous corps, would be such an honor.

I don't know how much of a chance I have. I think I can get the marching style down with some practice. I still have a month before auditions and I need to keep practicing baritone. I am worried because I just picked up the instrument a few weeks ago. I don't know how well I will do. All I know is that I have improved tremendously over these past few weeks. I just hope I can improve enough to make it. I will do everything I can. If I don't make it this year, I'll try out again next year. By that time, I'll have a semester of baritone under my belt from concert season.

I really want this. I want to know what it is like to be on a field with a crowd of several thousand cheering for you. I want to know the pride that comes from playing in a group that really wants to be there. Well, wish me luck in my quest. We'll see how things go. Latre!

12:24am: I'm so damn frustrated with this whole situation. Only one member of my spanish group has a video camera. It wasn't until later that we found out that his dad is completely anal about him using the camera. He had to be there the whole time, filming everything. He cut most of the scenes too early, so any bloopers that happened weren't filmed. Alright, I can deal with the no bloopers, that's completely fine. But when he won't let his son bring the camera to school so that we can finish the project, that is complete bullshit. I had to drive out to Anaheim Hills three times to film the damn project, just because his dad wouldn't think about the other people of the group. Sure he had to stay home from work, but he could have just let his son use the damn camera instead. And then he starts telling us what we should put in the credits. He made us make a sign that said "Special thanks to Señora Menna." Hell no! I am grateful to her for teaching me, but that's just plain dorky and stupid. Everyone would have laughed at us. But he was completely uncompromising about it. I swear, I am never going to deal with this again.

The worst happened when I found out that an important part of the video got taped over. It was a few lines where only I was on camera. I am not going to drive out to fucking Anaheim Hills just to film about 3 lines. But of course that doesn't matter. I would have to drive out there because the camera couldn't be brought to school. He could've come to my house for all I cared. I finally said "fuck it." My dad went out and bought a new camera (we needed one anyway). And now I'm going to tape the lines myself. I am never using anybody's camera but my own, because I am allowed to take it anywhere and I am actually allowed to film with it. And as long as I trust them, I will let other people borrow it.

I really really REALLY hate it when parents get in the way of my academic goals like this. The dad had originally said that he would edit it together, an idea that wasn't all that bad (less work for me). That is, until he put that special thanks crap in. At that point I knew that I would edit it myself. So we had to film the whole show in order because he was going to edit it on the TV. We ended up wasting hours memorizing long scenes, when shorter scenes could have been filmed. Once again, who cares about me though? The camera is the all might god. We also needed to film some of that project at school. We had to change one of the scenes because we couldn't get any girls to be in it, since we were so far from Troy. He was willing to seriously sacrafice his son's grade and the grades of the other group members because he couldn't relinquish control of the damn camera. Get off your damn high horse and think about other people. My grade could have suffered because of this...I don't let people bring MY grade down because they are selfish.

This all just sucked. The video will be okay at best. I don't care anymore though. It's almost done, that's all that matters. Latre!

12:04am: First Pacific Crest Workshop
Well today I went to my first Pacific Crest Drum Corps workshop. It was amazing. The horn line sounded so good, and we were all sight reading! I have a long way to go before auditions, but I am going to try my hardest. I really want to make it onto this corps. I want to know what it's like to be in a DCI competition. I don't know if I will make it, but these workshops make it all worth it no matter what. I've already made a bunch of friends and learned my 3rd marching style. I've also become better at a new instrument. I can't believe I survived two 2-hour long master classes for brass, that's a lot of playing. Well, all that said, let's recap the day.

I got there, signed in, and changed the name on my name tag. Haha, it said Joelle. Anyway, I waited around for a bit until a few other Troy people showed up. Since I was the only brass player from Troy, I was pretty much left to my own devices most of the time. So I was forced to make new friends. The hornline played some exercises in an arc. My god it sounded good.

After the master class, we had an elective. I chose to do the PC marching style elective. Their style is really weird. Their toes make more than a 45 degree angle (as the instructor called it: an exagerrated 45 degree angle. "It's just like a 45 degree angle, only exagerrated.) At attention, they're slightly leaning forward. It has to do with weight distribution while moving. There's other stuff, but it doesn't make sense in writing. The marching instructor is crazy. He was talking about how screwed you are if you can't march quarter notes: "Man, those quarter notes are a bitch!" He also gave us some words of wisdom: "If you're under 14, cover your ears. You all need to pay attention to this stuff, because its fucking brilliant." Haha, it was great. I have a feeling he's going to kick my ass if I make it onto the corps. Not that I did anything, but I can tell that he would work us really hard.

After the elective, we had lunch. The Troy people met up at In N Out. The line of cars was really long, so we ended up parking across the street and then running through traffic. Good times. Friggin Duff stole half my fries while I was talking to Lydia at the other table. After lunch, I went home just because I could, went to the bathroom, and then went back to DBHS. The final master class of the day was pretty cool, we got to play actual music. We ended early because of some rain, and that was the end of the first workshop. It was a pretty cool experience

That's all for now latre!

5:55pm: The game last night was great. I got to wear the white drum major uniform and the silver helmet hehe. People kept saying that I looked like Prashant. The field show actually went pretty well. I was more nervous that morning than I was when I got up there. I guess I was too busy to be nervous. I didn't even make too many mistakes. I took the ballad at warp speed, but Ryan said that at least I was consistent with the fast tempo. I forgot some of the meter changes in the third song and had to beat time for a little while, but I got the beat back. We had a big problem with talking on my bus for some reason, but that was alright. I had a lot of fun, it was a good experience.

Thank you to everyone for putting up with my mistakes throughout the night. Latre!

10:46pm: Big Day Tomorrow
Okay, I've said it before, but this is even bigger. Not only is Marie not going to be at the game tomorrow because of a church retreat, but it's a homegame and I will be conducting the field show. Castillo is going to have the form an arc because there are going to be a bunch of people missing so marching the show would be difficult. I've spent a large portion of tonight practicing the meter changes for Batman and seeing if I can keep my arms up for 9 minutes. I think I can do it.

This is really exciting, but I'm a bit nervous. I have never conducted the show; hopefully I will be able to practice tomorrow during band. This is another big opportunity for me to experience what it is like to be a drum major. I am really looking forward to it. Wish me luck!

Btw, I apologize in advance for any mistakes I make. Hopefully they won't be too plentiful hehe. Latre!

10:50pm: The previous entry came about as the result of my physics IB lab. The question for the lab was: Is there a relationship between the height a ball rolls down a ramp and how far it travels horizontally off a table? Go deductive logic!

10:40pm: Epiphanies about the Universe
[09:38:07: PM] DJ Dilicious: so now i have to figure out why...THERE IS AN ASYMPTOTE
[09:38:17: PM] Wendy: you go ahead
[09:38:18: PM] DJ Dilicious: if you go by the theory of relativity
[09:38:24: PM] Wendy: my brain doesn't like your train of thought
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